All the Leaves are Brown and the Sky is Gray...

I've been for a walk on a winters day, I'd be safe and warm if I was in LA. California Dreamin, on such a winter's Day!!!!--Mama's and the Papa's.
So this completely described today in every way so I had to blog about it. Last night there were flurries, no not Mcflurries, the real thing SNOW. Why is snow so beautiful and romantic? Whyyyyyah? I might sound a little depressed but maybe I am. The thing is the Holidays is when there are lots of little gatherings and parties, and most of them acquire dates. For example my Family Christmas party at work is on Monday,and seeing that I don't have any children, I get to sit at the single table yep, with all the other single ladies at work:) Not that they aren't fun, it's just another reminder that it is very possible that I could end up 32 and still single and still working at OMS, and still going to Christmas Parties alone. Wow I didn't mean for this blog to go this down hill. Let's start over.
So I am going to California in about 2 weeks, and up to now I have been pretty excited about it. Well the words of wisdom are starting to get in my head. I have been warned about every danger I am putting myself in by taking a trip out west by myself. So far I am NOT allowed to look at anyone in the eyes, wear my hair down, wear makeup, leave the car for any reason, smile at anyone. And I am supposed to carry; mace, a tazer gun, a 20 dollar bill in each shoe, and one in my shirt, keep an eye out for any funny business along the way, stop for noone:) the list goes on and on. The happy go lucky trip has turned into a pretty big stress not only in my life, but everyone who knows that I am going. Tomorrow we will start mapping out the cities I am allowed to stop in. Among all of the warnings I am extremely excited to be in CA again, and see my dear friends.
So if there are any more words of wisdom please feel free!
I watched my friend and their worship band tonight, I think everyone should be in a band, even if they just shake the egg, it's good for you, like veggies or vitamins.

If I could open my mouth wide enough for a marching band to march through....

So I went to the dentist today, something about being under that light and a man coming inches from my face makes me nervous everytime. And what's the deal? I always feel like my mouth has been stretched to the limit, when I leave. Then he had to numb my left side, so the rest of the morning I felt like I was only talking out of the side of my mouth. Plus that gritty stuff on your lips ugghhh, well I won't be there for another 6 months! I actually love my dentist he's probably one of the best I know, and I know alot.
That's right my favorite thing about Christmas is the snowflakes that light up on the street lights, downtown. I love this time. I will drive up and down the street just to see the lights. They have already started hanging them, and I am excited about it. Speaking of marching bands Christmas means there will be a Christmas Parade. Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot.
Have you ever thought about how many doorways we go through each day? I haven't actually counted yet but I am pretty sure I walk through hundreds everyday. It really doesn't make a difference, but I thought it was interesting.

Resistance is Useless

First of all if you haven't seen Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy you should, and afterwards you should do the Dolphins sing along:)It's loads of fun.
It's been a long, but fast week, I have been busy but, actually did nothing at all.
Do you ever wonder what if? What if I said everything I really want to say? What if I was ok with being a dissapointment? What if I could make a decision for my life based on what I believe, not what I have been taught all my life? What if I didn't let people belittle me, or make me feel worthless? What if I did something ridiculous just to do it? What if I loved, knowing full well I would get hurt?
Just a few thoughts, so how do i get the answers? The thing is I imagine these things,I will play them all out in my mind and they are elaborate. I am what some call a daydreamer. The end result is always resistance. Wether it be from my parents, friends, or whoever. I have lived, up to now, trying to avoid that pressure at any cost. If there is any way around conflict you can garantee that I will be taking that route. Now that I think about it I am completely predictable. But is that really healthy? Yeah sure it seems pretty peacable, except I am holding it all inside, and I think I actually felt bitter this week, bitter is something I never really struggled with. And what happens when you are misunderstood? My response is to try explain it in great detail, until the person is completely bored with the subject and suddenly doesn't even know what the misunderstanding was. Of course it makes me feel better because I don't want that person to be mislead. It's just frustrating. So why do we always think our way is the best way? Why do we think that there is only one appropriate way to react?
After all of these questions I am coming to realize, that I think I have finally hit my rebellious stage, I know most normal people hit it at age 13-16, but I waited till 22. The funny thing is I don't even know who I am rebelling against. It could be that or that I am just finally getting a back bone. I don't really know.

Stop talking Gibberish or just stop talking

I just need to tell someone what I have just experienced. Alright I am sitting at Panera Bread next to the door (which are all very clear glass)
So clear that a woman walked right into the glass and bounced off, I am trying so hard not to laugh, ecspecially when she turned around mortified that she was rejected by the wall of glass. So she giggled a little and even tried to find the real door but realized she had to go all the way around to the otherside for a door. I am thinking "alright she was just flustered and wasn't thinking clearly." But it obviously a very tricky door, because not a minute later a group of 3 people tried the exact thing, this time a head suffered a bump, It's so funny I wonder how often this happens I might start coming here more. For entertainment purposes.

"I wanna grow old with you"

What do you think dreams mean? I know it's probably a way over asked question. But, what if they really mean something about the way you think? Why does your brain decide to make an entire story up and you might get to remember it. What I would like to know is how many people have in some way thought that God was trying to say something to them through a dream? I am curious because a woman at work was hesitant to tell me, and another coworker, about a dream she had. It was the "end of the world" and everything dissapeared except for people and then there was going to be a separation of the "good people" and the "bad ones", and she told me that she was freaking out because she didn't know much about the Bible and she thought there was going to be a quiz over it. Meanwhile in the dream I and another coworker,(who is a believer) were celebrating, as she says we jumping on the bed and laughing, because we "knew where we were going". I was caught off guard, what do I say, there was soo much, but where do I start? I think that she had this dream for a reason, like maybe she has felt the pull of the Holy Spirit, and has been thinking about it lately, of course she did say that she watched the never ending story. So I took the opportunity to share with her my testimony, and I'm not really sure how she took it, because she turned around to her computer, so maybe she needed to get back to work or just needed to think about it. We are good friends which makes it tense, because I don't want her to feel like I will preach at her at every chance I get, I just want her to know I love her. So any comments or advice is appreciated.
One more thing, I would highly suggest to everyone out there to find your grandma and give her a huge hug, a long one, and if it's not too weird you should hold her hand. I am almost convinced it is the solution to everything.