Floater

I can't keep it in....

2008-02-10T18:28:00.000-06:00

It's been ahwile and I have been browsing some of the blogs I used to frequent back when I was good at this. It's really fun to see how much changes in the matter of a year. So here is the update I am officially a massage therapist and I am loving every minute of it. I get to meet new people and pamper them it's really rewarding. I am the proud aunt of 5 babies and one on the way!! I live with 2 of the coolest cats in this alley.. Nikki and Kim....no they aren't really cats...I'm allergic.
I just bought a Cat Stevens cd, I have been meaning to buy it for some time just never did and I was feeling quite impulsive while walking around wal-mart so now I have the Gold Album, a black shirt, and 1000 piece puzzle? and somehow there was glitch in the debit machine and it asked for 100 cash back...:( but the lady couldn't reverse it so reluctantly I took the 100 dollar bill.
I am feeling a bit stagnant lateley and have been contemplating changing locations...are there any suggestions for a relocation, the move wouldn't be immediate of course but I am fishing for some ideas..let me know

You name the place that's where I'll BE....

2007-03-13T23:02:00.001-05:00

mmm sorry it's been some months since I have poured out my thoughts to you. Much has happened some would make you laugh and some would make you scowl, but I don't regret any of it, I am glad that I have been through it. I am still in Springfield, working, but I have gone back to school to become a massage therapists, which is some of the most challenging, and fun things I have done. There is so much I have to learn. I have moved in with one of the most amazing roomates, her name is Jayme and she has inspired me so much ever since I have moved in. I had some wonderful additions to my family, All 4 of my sisters are now married and I have 3 nephews and niece and one niece on the way. I absolutely love being an aunt. I wanted to be sure to let anyone who reads this know that I really hold you dear in my heart for the time I was able to share with you in my life. God really blessed me when I got to meet you. Most of my friends, if not all of you on here, I met in California, I will always be grateful for your sweet spirits.
I hope you are all well.
Love
Brittany

Shower the People you love with love...

2006-08-19T12:40:00.000-05:00

Where do I even begin to recap what the last few months have entailed...lets first explain why I havent blogged in 6 months.
The single most important reason would be my shear laziness, or business. Either one will work, because I busy myself with other things, one of those things being myspace. And when I think about it I think the only reason I like myspace so much more are because of all the pictures. But I am trying to turn a new leaf and get back to blogging, because you get more personal with your "friends".
Well I am back in CA, working at Pondo. It was another eventful summer full of new people and life long friends.
Do you ever stop and think about how lucky you are? in life?(even if you don't work at a summer camp) the people you encounter daily, it's incredible who you meet in life. If you stop to hear their story and their journey, it makes me happy to see how God can work in peoples lives.
This is my 3rd summer here and I am always surprised at how much God teaches me about myself. There is something about being away from your normal routine and figuring out how to manage with a new community, it really stretches you. But then I am thrust back into the previous routine and am somewhat disappointed of monotany,yet grateful for the comfort. I once referred to Pondo as the Narnia of my life, I can go to Pondo for a summer, but then, I eventually come back to the real world and it's quite a transition.

All I Ever Wanted...(vacation)......Had to Get Away...

2006-02-28T20:01:00.000-06:00

There is something about vacation that helps you put things in perspective. I can't begin to tell you how much I needed this break, it was absolutely wonderful. Picture this, I was abruptly woke up every morning by my 2 year old nephew Oliver, who thought is was the funniest thing to fall down on my air mattress kick his legs up in the air like a bicycle, and laugh the entire time, and then insisted that I join in the fun. How can you resist a two year old who says "peeaass" I had a week full of beauty magazines, junk food, and lots of play time with Oliver. We watched movies, including the new Curious George, and had a snowball fight. To top the week off my sister had her ultra sound and found out she is having a boy, other than a little motion sickness from the plane, it was a flawless trip:)

LOVE is a verb...

2006-02-10T23:26:00.000-06:00

You can say that again. Does DC Talk know what they are doing or what?
It is the Love month, it also happens to be women's heart awareness month (for heart disease, did you know 1 in every 3 women have heart disease?)
Coincidentally it is also the one year anniversary for my lil blog here:)
I must say it feels good to hit a mile stone like this.
I have this jar of Necco candies...ya know the little pastel hearts with all of the sayings on them. It was my prize for guessing that there were exactly 520 in the jar. How crazy is that. Do you think it's a little cheesy to say that it's my Valentine from God?...don't answer that.
I'm going to give a shout out, to my friends Nikki, Aaron, and Brady. Who traveled from the far West of the U.S. to visit for a couple days. It was really good to see you guys.I hope winter camp treats you well, I can't wait for Summer!!!
I will leave you with this; If you had to pick 2 songs to be on a Valentine's Day mix what would they be?

Your'e It!!

2006-01-24T17:24:00.000-06:00

Thank You Nikki:)
I needed that, I think I have been running from this for awhile, I just had to get tagged I guess. It might be because I'm afraid sometimes. But when it becomes a challenge, or if it is expected it seems to be a bit easier to blog. For that I apologize, I have really been neglecting my responsiblility to the blogging world.
WELL in case you are wondering what all that blubblering was, I have been tagged by Nikki, in which I must reveal my top 5 guilty pleasures. When someone is MIA, imagination gets the worst doesn't it, like when you go on a date and they say "I'll call you".....the time gap that follows, isn't always the most fun. But then you get a call and all is well. It sort of applies here, seeing that I am finally blogging.
So for #5 I will say Boxes. All types of boxes, mostly because of their purpose they hold things neatly tucked in, and organizes my life, they are typically easy to handle. There is a mystery about them because there is something inside of them, and the shape of the box gives no hint to what it is. I have recently become obsessed with them, sending them to dear friends and relatives,full of goodies. It's alot like scrapbooking. I start with a typical box; shoebox, ipod box, whatever I can find and cover it with colorful paper and personal touches. I find great pleasure in sending/giving them away.
#4 Massages, I love nothing more than a nice massage. We are so hard on our bodies throughout the day, a good massage is so relaxing. Don't get me wrong I love getting them, but what I find more fun is giving them. Which is why I am potentially going to be looking at Massage Therapy Schools. I can't seem to be at work or with friends when I am not rubbing someone's back or head.
#3 Music, yes I realize this is probably true for alot of people. This is an addiction that I can't seem to shake, nor do I ever want to. I could blog for hours about all the positive things music has done in my life. I love old, and new music all equally, I take pride in my record player, and I am constantly trying to find music I can put on my ipod. This crazy world at myspace has taken over life which is partly why I have not been on blogger.
#2 Feet, don't say ewwwwww. I can truly call this a guilty pleasure for most people feet are the worst part of their body. But I can't help the way I am I love everything about them. I love scrubbing them, rubbing them, cleaning them, clipping toenails, buffing them, painting them. I would do it for anyone.
#1 Now you know this is a real guilty pleasure because it is my #1.
Pay attention, because I'm not sure if it is very widely distributed.
Hiland Dairy, Moose Tracks. This is the most amazing ice cream you could ever have. I am not exaggerating. It is vanilla ice cream with swirls of fudge throughout it and miniature peanut butter cups. It sounds simple but; I don't think it has ever lasted more than a week in my house. So there you have it, I feel so vulnerable right now.
I hope this makes you feel a little bit closer to me.
I would now like to tag...........
STACY HOFFMAN......yep.....that's right Stace you can do it!
Let's hear your 5 guilty pleasures.

Dirty Little Secret

2005-12-14T00:54:00.000-06:00

If any of you were wondering and didn't already know i have arrived. I made it to California from Missouri, and luckily had no problems. After all of the preparation for this trip it was successful. It was interesting to travel alone, there was noone to talk to...obviously, but I was accompanied by some good music and good scenery, which was a perfect opportunity to do some good thinking. I am going on my 2nd day here, and it's been fun. Nikki and I met her dad in San Diego, to our dismay we passed it and almost made it to Mexico before we turned around. We finally met up with him, and it turned out to be a treasure hunt to find a restaurant to eat lunch/dinner. 2 hours later we finally stopped at Rockin Baja Lobster. I was either really hungry or it was good food. Then Nikki and I finished up the night by checking out the paper store and did some shopping. Such a funny day:)

All the Leaves are Brown and the Sky is Gray...

2005-11-29T22:33:00.000-06:00

I've been for a walk on a winters day, I'd be safe and warm if I was in LA. California Dreamin, on such a winter's Day!!!!--Mama's and the Papa's.
So this completely described today in every way so I had to blog about it. Last night there were flurries, no not Mcflurries, the real thing SNOW. Why is snow so beautiful and romantic? Whyyyyyah? I might sound a little depressed but maybe I am. The thing is the Holidays is when there are lots of little gatherings and parties, and most of them acquire dates. For example my Family Christmas party at work is on Monday,and seeing that I don't have any children, I get to sit at the single table yep, with all the other single ladies at work:) Not that they aren't fun, it's just another reminder that it is very possible that I could end up 32 and still single and still working at OMS, and still going to Christmas Parties alone. Wow I didn't mean for this blog to go this down hill. Let's start over.
So I am going to California in about 2 weeks, and up to now I have been pretty excited about it. Well the words of wisdom are starting to get in my head. I have been warned about every danger I am putting myself in by taking a trip out west by myself. So far I am NOT allowed to look at anyone in the eyes, wear my hair down, wear makeup, leave the car for any reason, smile at anyone. And I am supposed to carry; mace, a tazer gun, a 20 dollar bill in each shoe, and one in my shirt, keep an eye out for any funny business along the way, stop for noone:) the list goes on and on. The happy go lucky trip has turned into a pretty big stress not only in my life, but everyone who knows that I am going. Tomorrow we will start mapping out the cities I am allowed to stop in. Among all of the warnings I am extremely excited to be in CA again, and see my dear friends.
So if there are any more words of wisdom please feel free!
I watched my friend and their worship band tonight, I think everyone should be in a band, even if they just shake the egg, it's good for you, like veggies or vitamins.

If I could open my mouth wide enough for a marching band to march through....

2005-11-16T16:33:00.000-06:00

So I went to the dentist today, something about being under that light and a man coming inches from my face makes me nervous everytime. And what's the deal? I always feel like my mouth has been stretched to the limit, when I leave. Then he had to numb my left side, so the rest of the morning I felt like I was only talking out of the side of my mouth. Plus that gritty stuff on your lips ugghhh, well I won't be there for another 6 months! I actually love my dentist he's probably one of the best I know, and I know alot.
That's right my favorite thing about Christmas is the snowflakes that light up on the street lights, downtown. I love this time. I will drive up and down the street just to see the lights. They have already started hanging them, and I am excited about it. Speaking of marching bands Christmas means there will be a Christmas Parade. Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot.
Have you ever thought about how many doorways we go through each day? I haven't actually counted yet but I am pretty sure I walk through hundreds everyday. It really doesn't make a difference, but I thought it was interesting.

Resistance is Useless

2005-11-13T20:27:00.000-06:00

First of all if you haven't seen Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy you should, and afterwards you should do the Dolphins sing along:)It's loads of fun.
It's been a long, but fast week, I have been busy but, actually did nothing at all.
Do you ever wonder what if? What if I said everything I really want to say? What if I was ok with being a dissapointment? What if I could make a decision for my life based on what I believe, not what I have been taught all my life? What if I didn't let people belittle me, or make me feel worthless? What if I did something ridiculous just to do it? What if I loved, knowing full well I would get hurt?
Just a few thoughts, so how do i get the answers? The thing is I imagine these things,I will play them all out in my mind and they are elaborate. I am what some call a daydreamer. The end result is always resistance. Wether it be from my parents, friends, or whoever. I have lived, up to now, trying to avoid that pressure at any cost. If there is any way around conflict you can garantee that I will be taking that route. Now that I think about it I am completely predictable. But is that really healthy? Yeah sure it seems pretty peacable, except I am holding it all inside, and I think I actually felt bitter this week, bitter is something I never really struggled with. And what happens when you are misunderstood? My response is to try explain it in great detail, until the person is completely bored with the subject and suddenly doesn't even know what the misunderstanding was. Of course it makes me feel better because I don't want that person to be mislead. It's just frustrating. So why do we always think our way is the best way? Why do we think that there is only one appropriate way to react?
After all of these questions I am coming to realize, that I think I have finally hit my rebellious stage, I know most normal people hit it at age 13-16, but I waited till 22. The funny thing is I don't even know who I am rebelling against. It could be that or that I am just finally getting a back bone. I don't really know.

Stop talking Gibberish or just stop talking

2005-11-05T12:14:00.000-06:00

I just need to tell someone what I have just experienced. Alright I am sitting at Panera Bread next to the door (which are all very clear glass)
So clear that a woman walked right into the glass and bounced off, I am trying so hard not to laugh, ecspecially when she turned around mortified that she was rejected by the wall of glass. So she giggled a little and even tried to find the real door but realized she had to go all the way around to the otherside for a door. I am thinking "alright she was just flustered and wasn't thinking clearly." But it obviously a very tricky door, because not a minute later a group of 3 people tried the exact thing, this time a head suffered a bump, It's so funny I wonder how often this happens I might start coming here more. For entertainment purposes.

"I wanna grow old with you"

2005-11-02T23:14:00.000-06:00

What do you think dreams mean? I know it's probably a way over asked question. But, what if they really mean something about the way you think? Why does your brain decide to make an entire story up and you might get to remember it. What I would like to know is how many people have in some way thought that God was trying to say something to them through a dream? I am curious because a woman at work was hesitant to tell me, and another coworker, about a dream she had. It was the "end of the world" and everything dissapeared except for people and then there was going to be a separation of the "good people" and the "bad ones", and she told me that she was freaking out because she didn't know much about the Bible and she thought there was going to be a quiz over it. Meanwhile in the dream I and another coworker,(who is a believer) were celebrating, as she says we jumping on the bed and laughing, because we "knew where we were going". I was caught off guard, what do I say, there was soo much, but where do I start? I think that she had this dream for a reason, like maybe she has felt the pull of the Holy Spirit, and has been thinking about it lately, of course she did say that she watched the never ending story. So I took the opportunity to share with her my testimony, and I'm not really sure how she took it, because she turned around to her computer, so maybe she needed to get back to work or just needed to think about it. We are good friends which makes it tense, because I don't want her to feel like I will preach at her at every chance I get, I just want her to know I love her. So any comments or advice is appreciated.
One more thing, I would highly suggest to everyone out there to find your grandma and give her a huge hug, a long one, and if it's not too weird you should hold her hand. I am almost convinced it is the solution to everything.

I think I need my smile cracked

2005-10-26T18:34:00.000-05:00

I was on my way home today, and for some reason, I started thinking of all the things that make me smile, maybe you can relate to some of these.
1. Hot Air Balloons in the sky
2. When people fall, and try to regain some dignity.
3. Watching someone sing every word and hit every beat on the steering wheel while they are in their car.
4. Geriatric PDA.
5. Making someone feel special.
6. A good song that describes exactly what I want to say.
7. Pictures of the summer.
8. Reading entries from my diary I kept when I was 16.
9. Corny Jokes.
10. Sitting on a beach.
11. Driving out in the country as the sun is setting.
12. People in line at the Post Office.
13. Letting my brother play me his country love songs so he can perform them for his girlfriend.
14. Finishing a project.
okay I guess there are alot, so I will stop there.

Summer has come and Gone

2005-10-25T00:25:00.000-05:00

So here it is fall has begun. I could tell when Halloween decor came out but I didn't really believe it when it was still 70-80 degrees out. I don't want to face the frozen tile on my bathroom floor as I race to get into a the hot water of the shower, so I hit snooze, which is a blessing and a curse, for I abuse my snooze button.
It is cold here. It's the kind of cold that seeps up your nose and hurts your forehead. It's funny because I was just watching people walking into the store today and they all have a twisted tense body as their little legs are rapidly walking trying to not look as cold as they feel. This weather does something to the sunlight, I don't know how to explain it but I can't stop taking pictures of everything lately. I am driving and I literally have a camera handy so I can stop and take pictures. The light is just so beautiful and crisp. The downside to that is that I can't stop just anywhere, for example on I-44 can't just stop in traffic that is cruising at 70 to capture the sunlight beaming over the skyline of trees. Don't ask me where this ridiculous obsession with pictures came from. I am not quite sure, maybe when I found out that I was able to put 200 of them on a cd and it's only 2.50 @ Wal-Mart.
I recently visited my sister and her husband Derrick up in Binghamton NY. It was a 16 hour drive and we drove through the night, I had my first Red Bull, and later found myself laughing histerically with my mother who had just downed a Rock Star.(needless to say we had no trouble staying up) The drive was interesting it is really beautiful up there, I was able to go to Niagra Falls and my mom had her first out of the country experience.(because we went to the Canadian side)
So I was surprised yesterday when by chance my parents had an extra ticket to see Larry the Cable Guy live. So I went with them and I laughed so hard, and Gary and my brother do this cute little thing if they think something is funny they will look over to see your reaction, to make sure you are laughing too. Which made it even funnier. It was a good time, of course if you know anything about this guy you would know there is some shady material, but he tells it like it is. I don't think I have ever heard so many farting, butt hole, or poop jokes at one time before. It was quite the night, and to think I got to experience it with those I love most.
But really I was thinking about it and I would highly recommend for families to do that, maybe find some cleaner comedians, but I definitely think it is healthy to laugh together.

"Someday You Will Be Loved"

2005-10-11T20:52:00.000-05:00

Probably the saddest song I have heard in awhile, it made me cry on the way to work, (note to self; do not listen to Death Cab on the way to work.) Speaking of work, I don't know how I am going to be able to leave this place, I am in no way trying to brag, but my boss takes such good care of me/us. This morning we got a surprise breakfast, she and her colleague, brought skillets and made a country breakfast, just because. Seriously, how can you leave a place like that? It's like one big family.
Has anyone ever heard of the BBC's (British Broadcasting..)not Baptist Bible, old 80's sitcom series called "Young Ones" It is making my life more enjoyable, it's sooo funny. If you ever get the chance to, you should watch them.
This weekend I babysat 4 kids, Thur. Fri. and Sat., no, but it was really good, because I could use the extra cash, and I have been meaning to watch "Fat Albert" 20 times in a row. It did actually give me an idea of what being a mother involves, because I have forgotten a little bit of the horror that comes with having 4 kids all under 10. It also opened my eyes to the beautiful creation God made, the Institution of Family and Marriage. This eye opening experience has been nurtured by my pastor's latest series of purity. He finished it up last Sunday, and I am really glad he decided to hit on this very important issue. He went over many aspects of purity and really camped out on the sexual purity. He went so far to stress the importance of it, that he provided a free internet filter for anyone at the church. That's why I love him, he is straight forward, but he's not harsh, he gives it all in love.
Well the kids didn't stop on Saturday I stepped into the 2 year old classroom on Sunday to teach, hoping my partner would be there to help me entertain/control the 9 screaming boys and girls in the room. That's right she didn't show, I'll be honest, I wasn't in the best of moods, that quickly changed when my dad took us to Nakato's. (Japanese Steakhouse)for lunch.
It is his birthday today, any suggestions for a good present for a 50 something man who has everything he needs?

2005-10-04T21:39:00.000-05:00

At the Pumpkin Patch.

2005-10-04T21:26:00.000-05:00

I never thought I could like a boy who wore socks with sandals, but I am mistaken. Here is a picture of my nephew Oliver.

You Humble me Lord...

2005-10-01T21:32:00.000-05:00

It's been up and down at work, fun and stupid at the same time, they have been trying to boost the morale at work, hoping to have happier co-workers. Which is completely understandable, if you get 60 women and 6 doctors in the same area, all week, it gets mundane, or discouraging at times. So we had a meeting on Thursday, lets just say we had drawings and a pinata, and alot of Chocolate was involved. It just makes me laugh, at women, really, they know exactly how to get on our good side....."feed them". By the end of the day there was a hole in the Kitchen wall where a swing at the pinata went a wry. In the same week we have had some vandalism that involved human fesces and the bathroom, I don't understand I thought I worked at professional office, not with a bunch of 6 year olds.....now that I have that off my chest.
Today was interesting, I mentioned in another blog of mine, that I am starting to ride my bike to work, which I have been, it works out so perfect, when I can actually get up early enough. I am saying this so it might hopefully inspire anyone with access to a bike. It gives me a good 30 minutes in the morning and at night to spend, just soaking up the beauty God created. It's pretty therapeutic.
So today I decided to ride on unmapped territory, because I didn't have to work today I just rode at my leisure, and I only took my ipod a big peice of gum with me. There was my first mistake. I usually grab my keys, and a back pack. When I returned from a really good ride I only wanted to get a huge glass of ice water and to take a shower. I was devastated to find, that I had completely locked myself out of my house in every way. I was ok at first, so I tried all the usuall things, I thought, oh get the garage opener, nope it's locked inside of your car. oh go to the main house because they have a garage opener, ohh they are out of town this weekend. I looked in every possible place there might be an extra key.. there was none. I was phoneless, waterless, and hopeless. So I thought I would make the best of it and I went and sat on the swing that hangs in my yard, just listening to my ipod. Then after about an hour I decide to try my hand at breaking in. So after a couple of trials I finally found a window that leads to the garage. It opened for me and I had to scale a piano, and some storage and a tanning bed, it was ridiculous. But, God really took care of me.

Like a Bowl of Oranges

2005-09-16T23:51:00.000-05:00

They are not that easy to find. While shopping for my 4 main food groups, I was searching for the vitamin C. Something that would satisfy me like the superb oranges we were served at camp all summer, and to my surprise there were none that could compare. I guess they just don't make 'em like they do out in CA.

This blog is to mainly thank my friend, her name is Debbi Martinez. I have realized that she is a great encouragement to me. Of course we have our differences, like for example she thinks it absurd to buy a gallon of Bannana Peppers, and I see it as an investment. But that is not the point, the point is without her encouragement in some areas, I wouldn't be who I am and for that I am so appreciative.

Noone can find the rewind button

2005-09-14T20:17:00.000-05:00

It has already happened. I didn't think it was going to happen to me, and especially not this early but it did. I am sitting looking at all of these students, doing group projects and writing papers and suddenly envy them. I don't really even know why. I am probably just getting bored with working, but it is partly because I do have a thirst for knowledge. I am just the type that has to be forced to get a book and read it. I can't find leisure time that I want to sit down and learn.
I guess I need to start prioritizing my life. Ok so here are all my dreams, well they are not in great detail but what I want to do is this. I would like to go backpacking through Europe, the thing is I have no money, and I want to go with a group so if anyone is interested in saving up some money and planning an amazing trip you should leave me a comment and we will start planning. I would like to substitute teach, so I need to get involved and see if that is something I would be any good at. I want to move to California for awhile and live on the beach, I want to go to Louisiana or somewhere in the South and help in any way I can, I want to win the lottery and give it all away just like Nicholas Cage does in "It could happen to you"?? i forgot the name of the movie but it's something like that. For fun he goes to the train station and buys alot of tokens and just hands them out to the people in New York. I want to figure out marriage, and understand why it so hard for people to stay together. I was talking with a coworker who said the only reason she doesn't leave her husband is because she is scared that he would find someone else, and that would make her miserable to see another woman raising her child. I know I shouldn't base my thoughts on this one case, but it just seems to be everywhere, unhappiness. Am I being naive?
So one time, I forgot how different MO and CA are, and while I was watching 5 adults being entertained by a talking deer mounted to the wall..... I remembered.
I started this blog thinking I had nothing at all to say and maybe I don't.
Cody just called and made me smile, of all the corn dog eating boys that I met at camp this summer he's my favorite. I want to move to NY and help start a church, I want write an age related curriculum for sunday school, but what would make it different from the mass amounts already available? Alright well some of this may or may not happen. I want it to be summer forever and work on the zipline and sleep on a hard bed, and be outside all day and yet I can't wait until the leaves are all orange and brown, and yellow. I can't make up my mind.
Because of the new gas prices I have decided to start riding my bike to work, I haven't tried it yet but I'll keep you posted, it's only 4 miles from my house.

What a Day for a Daydream...

2005-09-01T17:00:00.000-05:00

Probably the oddest morning of my life. So it's Thursday morning, like normal I am rushing out the door, cereal bowl in one hand and purse in the other. On the road, I am enjoying my "special K" as I look at the rear view mirror, I realize I am not alone. An abnormally large Preying Mantiss is looking straight at me as he is hanging upside down from my ceiling. I am literally inches from his face. I didn't know what to do so I pulled over on the road with no shoulder, just a ditch, and put my flashers on. I don't know about your knowledge with the insect life, but the only thing I know about the "Preying Mantiss" is what I have seen in movies and such, and c'mon they eat the head of their mate. I'm sorry I just don't think of them fondly after that. So after jumping out of my car, and trying to think of a smart way to shew it out without having to actually get near it, a nice woman asked if I needed help after I explained she said "Yeah, those you don't want to mess with." What does that mean? So now I am even more freaked out. Luckily, I rolled down the window on the passenger side and it was smart enought to slowly walk out:) I was overjoyed. As soon as it got on the outside I rolled the window up quickly. Relieved from the suspicion of whether or not I would have to be rushed to the hospital with fatal, Preying poisoning, I got back in my car. Continuing with my breakfast I stopped at a light, and sure enough what do I see glaring at me through my passenger window? That's right the Mantiss, it was holding on for his life, and I realized I had shut the window on one of his legs. So I had a good laugh on the way to work. When I got there I had to release him so I had my friend push him off of the window while I rolled down the window. It was a mess, then she informed me that they are actually pretty harmless, and they eat alot of the pesky insects. Man did I feel guilty, and here I am torchering the thing. Then we watched it eat off the injured part of his leg. I still thoroughly check the outside of my car as well as the inside before I actually start driving, I don't know if the thing had a family in there or what. The scary part is, how long has it been in there and I not notice?

"This is What it Feels to be Held..."

2005-08-29T16:39:00.000-05:00

When so much has happened, it's even harder to find words that can really capture what I'm feeling and where I am right now. The song by Natalie Grant, "Held" really puts it well so if you have never heard it you should go right now wherever you can to hear it, B&N, Sam Goody, you can probably find it on the internet.
While transitioning from Camp California to Homestead of Missouri, I have been realizing that God has really blessed me with a good family, and job, and opportunities. So much I was even talking with my friend Tylane, telling her that I can't help but wait for the ...but, you know when everything is perfect in a movie so you know that something bad is about to happen.
This week was my first day back at work, I have enjoyed getting caught up with everyone. Early Monday afternoon, I got an unexpected call from my crying mother. She informed me that my older sister Ashlie who has been pregnant with my nephew Hudson for 7 months had to be enduced because they could no longer find his heartbeat. At that moment I was in shock and the excitement immediately wiped off my face. The labor went fine with no complications, but the emptiness my sister had to have felt, hurt me so much.
For me, I have never lost someone so close to my heart. At 22 I feel fortunate that it has taken that long. It's a unique feeling though, I never got the chance to hold Hudson or play with him or anything but the hopes,dreams, and expectations I had already formed, I know they will never be played out. I will admit, I was thoroughly confused at first and even now. I wasn't bitter at God so much as I wanted answers. I knew Hudson was in Heaven and that he is in a much better place than I am , but my selfishness wants him here so that I could be involved and watch him grow up.
When we drove up to the grave site and saw that little tiny white box, I realized how unatural it seems to bury an infant. I have learned that my life is not going the way I planned it out, which of course is good because it is going the way God planned it. Sunday's message was about Trusting God, it seems simple and it's a phrase thrown around often, but it is in trials that I am tested on it. I realized that when I was trying to sing "it is well with my soul", while gripping the pew infront of me so tightly. It's been a hard week, but at the end I found alot of peace.

"I've Been Everywhere Man"

2005-08-12T23:55:00.000-05:00

Well not everywhere obviously but,.... crossed the dessert bare man, breathed the mountain air man.
so I pulled up to see my "little" brother Ryan, who is literally twice my size, shirtless really sweaty and shooting baskets while he is blaring a country station, and it was right then I realized why I love him so much. I walked in and greeted my mom who I haven't seen in 2 months. In between watching the local news, eating some bunny tracks ice cream, and trying to listen to my brother's new song he learned on the guitar, I was able to catch up with my mom. I missed this. It probably sounds really simple and a bit cooky but I'm ok with that.
This summer has been incredible, I learn something new everytime I go to California.

Nothing Gets Crossed Out

2005-07-24T01:42:00.000-05:00

If you want something done right, You have to do it yourself, my lesson for the week. So a couple of us went to Victoria Gardens last night to eat and watch a movie. We had our music up pretty loud in the car only attempting to drown out the, what sounded like a bird underneath my tires. Every time we used the brakes on my car a very loud and obvious chirp, squeak was coming from them. As you know on the mountain, going down you tend to use them about every turn. So I guess the firstborn it cost me to get them fixed wasn't enough to get the job done correctly. I need to start applying to go to a mechanic school, then I would just be able to take care of this, next time my car has any trouble.
Wow I have been here almost 2 months now. Time has flown so fast I don't want this summer to end. I have met so many good people, and friends that I don't want to lose. This summer has been incredible.
It's funny what we worry ourselves about, in hinsight they seem so trivial, but in the moment, you feel like you could ruin your life if you screw up a decision. It's good to know God has a plan and there is a reason for everything, we just might not know what it is at the time.

Dre-e-e-eam DreamDreamDream

2005-07-21T10:40:00.000-05:00

I had a pretty scary dream. Not like any monsters or creepy people who wanted to kill me. So last night Deb and I were babysitting for Aaron, when we finally got Leah to go to sleep I fell asleep to the mystery movie "Charade", starring Audrey Hepburn and Walter Mathauw...I dont know how to spell his name. I remember thinking in a scene while Audrey was puffing so gracefully on her cigarette, that she can really pull off smoking and looks good. So I had a dream that I was a camp counselor and it was juniors week. My job was to make sure a car full of kids got to Dan Skippers House so I guess I couldn't wait to light up a cigarette (probably inspired by Audrey) and I smoked a cigarette in the car, full of campers then for some crazy reason my conscience spoke up and made me realize that I wasn't supposed to smoke in front of campers. When we arrived at the House Dan was set up with some goofy games for the kids to play, while I had to think of some way I could apologize to him, one for breaking the code of conduct here at camp, and two for doing it infront of campers. I woke up to the relief that I had not done any of those things, but I was seriously sweating it in my dream.

7-20-05

2005-07-20T19:27:00.000-05:00

Today amidst the hustle and bustle of the office, a package came for me, it was the mysterious cell phone, that I had Overnighted. I was a Bit worried because I looked up on the internet, to see what it looked like, and I thought I had ordered that big Yellow walky talky looking one. Which would have been fine, just different than what I am used to. To my relief it was a similar one to my late phone.
I got my brake pads finally changed today it only cost my first born, but I guess, knowing that my brakes will not go out while I am racing down a mountain, it's worth it.
I am heading to Brawley this weekend to hang out, which should be.....HOT, so I hear. But I am excited to get off the mountain for a few days. It poured down rain today, it cooled everything down. I got a feeling like I was back in MO for a second....(sigh)... And I am over it.
I am not going to lie, I miss my friends, so here's to all you out there who aren't here. Heather, Stacey, Cody, Jeff, Sarah, Lee, Kim, Jackie, you are missed.

Things Just Getting Good

2005-07-19T23:51:00.000-05:00

It's so amazing, when God completely shows himself, he has just given me more than 8 hugs this week. Sometimes I overlook how much he really does care for us. Thank goodness he isn't an unjust God, waiting for us to screw up. Without getting into too many boring details, my life seriously fell apart in a 24 hour period. Not really but it was one thing after another. God sent just about every person my way to help me get through it and it just makes me smile. He really does have everything in control. Why do I always think I can do it on my own? You don't have to answer that.
Today was another good day in the office, you all will be happy to know all the pencils Mr. J could need are sharp. Another failed attempt to get my brake pads changed they were too busy. Cassandra, Debbie and I went to Target to get our pics developed, but first Debbie and I got in a fist fight, noone was seriously injured only our pride.

"Peace Train is Sounding Louder"

2005-07-18T16:32:00.000-05:00

Sharpening boxes of pencils, and sorting mail for Camp Winataka. That is what is filling my time here at camp. I can't forget the 101 degree weather and the unsolved issue of how to get 600 flies out of the bathroom, they just showed up today, I don't know why. It's pretty relaxing, knowing that I don't have to be running any games this week, The campers, (mostly counselors) are pretty different this week, they have made up a chant or song to sing for everything, literally everything. As soon as the campers got here they had them practicing a dance in the lodge. They have code names like "Princess He Man She Ra" but lets face it, it doesn't compare to a name like "Borus the alpha male", or Quantishfa Casanova".
I am waiting for Tyrone (the Copy Machine Repair Man ) right now, and Terri, better known as Spandex, just visited me she couldn't stay long. I am listening to Rilo Kiley and trying to think if there is anything else i could update you on. Well try to stay cool out there

"God bless the daylight"

2005-07-18T00:42:00.000-05:00

It was a week to remember, there were so many kids running around like maniacs. It was fun though, probably one my favorite weeks. Everyone was pretty friendly in general I got to actually connect with a couple of campers, which is rare for me in my position this summer. It feels good to know your work is appreciated, and I was encouraged in more ways than one this week. The week went fast and on Friday I was ready for this break. We went to Oceanside to stay at a beach house, but before we could arrive there God wanted to mess with us a little bit. Through a fender bender, and overheating 3-4 times, waiting at a Mcdonalds for it to cool down and not one person asking us if we needed help, 7 sad faces were trying to cheer up by playing the guitar. Which it did help, on the way to get more water to pour into the car, I realized that I was being bummed out because I was going to be later than I expected to a beach house, are you serious, how spoiled am I really. If that is all it takes, I am afraid if something actually tragic happened to me. So it was a good learning experience for everyone involved.
We arrived in Oceanside 7 hours later, and ate at Colima's, Walked on the beach and enjoyed the company. Once again, we relaxed all weekend, and I think we all really needed it.
I got a chance to talk to some people that I usually don't get a chance to, and that is why I love the weekends. Stacey and Jeff, and Stacey's sister Melissa came in and she was cool to get to meet. Cody's sister Katie came down for the barbecue on the beach, I always enjoy talking with her and listening to her. We all enjoyed the brief company of Dan, the random drunk man who walked up to us thinking we were his friends, so he decided to serenade us with a song he just made up right there on the spot, it was a bit weird.
Staying there for a couple days is making me seriously consider living there, I couldn't help but try to think of some way I could possibly afford something like that. We ended our journey in Oceanside at Alber Tacos, where we said our goodbyes to those who do not have to work this week. One sad note before I go, I completely broke my entire phone, when we arrived here at camp, I was holding my purse with the same hand as the one I shut the car door with lost grip and flung my purse into a rock where my phone was snapped in half and I haven't been able to get it to turn on.

Sugar on the asphalt

2005-07-13T15:27:00.000-05:00

Sitting on the top of the zipline tower sippn' some lemonade and I realize.... this is my summer job. I take so much for granted sometimes. How cool is it to hang out with a bunch of friends and play games all day, not to mention an incredible worship time 5 days a week. This place is such a blessing to me.

"Did you know right from the start when you first held me in your arms that you would always hold my heart?"

2005-07-11T22:16:00.000-05:00

So I just recently recieved a card from my mother and I can't explain how much I love her. She has shown me so much about how to love and how to make sacrifices for others, she is continually surprising me with her generosity.
This weekend was wonderful, I stayed around camp with a few friends and we did nothing, literally, and I loved every minute. We did make one journey well 2 we saw the Fantastic Four, on Saturday night, and before that we drove to see if the mechanic could change my brake pads but they are closed on weekends.
Just for the record I wrote an unusually large blog on Saturday and before I could publish it I got kicked off the internet, I was pretty sad. So to make up for that
I would like to dedicate this next segment to a girl I like to call my good friend Debbie Martinez
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Debbie, Happy Birthday to you!"
This Sunday I did have a brush with "Death" Yep Death itself, we almost met. So there I was riding shotgun in my friend Heather's car on the way to church, going down the winding mountain in San Bernadino National Forest, when all the sudden the very calm voice of Heather said "Yeah, um my brakes are not working," as she literally had the pedal to the metal I started to panic, luckily we had just came to the part where we were on the highway, so she used her emergency brake to stop on the side of the road and the smell of burnt rubber filled the car.
Bumbudddadahh! Nurse Kyle came to the rescue, He and Nikki came up told us to park at Walmart, and we could ride with them. It turned out good, so while we were still on a down hill slope the car proceeded to pick up speed even on the off ramp where we had a red light she had nothing at all that would slow the car down. Thanks to Cody who helped Heather and guided the speeding bullet into safety we took a 90 degree angle at about 45 mph and another one into the parking lot. and pushed the car into an empty spot. The ride to church was pretty quiet, because we all had pooped our pants.
Today was first day of camp for 260 Junior Highers. I must say it is refreshing to see so many bright faces around, and at the same time exhausting.
I have just started to watch the first season of "The OC" and everyone is right so far, I am addicted and I can't wait to watch the next episode. I usually don't get to watch an entire season of anything, so it is a new experience.
Have you ever noticed how your whole life people encourage you to be sure of yourself, get some confidence, make your own mind up, yet I read in Proverbs the other day to lean Not on my own understanding. That is one I have to be reminded of just about as much as I have to remind myself I am not in control.
Just one more plug before I go, I want to encourage my roomy Nikki, I can't even count on one hand how much your words of wisdom have comforted me. I love you very much and I appreciate you.

"Is it Wicked to Smile Even When You Feel Like Crying?"

2005-07-05T20:50:00.000-05:00

Day after the Fourth, it made me a bit sad when I realized my childhood memories of fireworks, the Lake, lots of food, and huge family, would not be comforting me this year. It's funny what you realize you miss when you don't have them. Although when I am here in CA, I don't really miss very much from back home, Don't get me wrong, I am not a cold hearted snake, but this place seems to keep me busy, or distracted, or something, that I occasionally get homesick, but I count that as a blessing, not a curse. I wouldn't want to be miserably homesick for the sake of looking like I cared.
So these past few weeks have been alot of fun, and alot of work, and my emotions are running crazy, and I am learning some about myself. I have recently come to the conclusion, that I can be incredibly selfish. That is definitely something I want to work on. This morning in chapel, Keith pointed out that in order to be a disciple of Christ, my relationship with my family, friends, and even my relationship with myself, has to seem like hatred, compared to my love relationship with Christ. I have to show my love towards Christ that much more than I do to myself. Wow. that put me in my place, Just take a moment to reflect on all the things that you do for yourself, than compare it to what you are doing for Christ and to show your love for him. I have a big project ahead of me.

A Grateful Heart

2005-06-18T02:58:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like you don't have a minute to yourself? I am seeing how important that is to me, and how much I took all that time for granted back home. I am not complaining, do not misunderstand, this is merely an observation that has presented itself lately. I am finding it hard to set out time to journal, or read, or any of these things that I hold preciously to my heart because there is a constant flow of people here and around. This is my challenge, that I hope not to overlook this summer, because I know I need that time, and I am not myself when I don't take the time to spend with God.
I do on the other hand love the fact that there is always a loving face nearby. I have never personally lived on a college campus in my life and always wondered what I was missing out on, I love that I get this opportunity even though this camp experience is nothing like a college, there are still roomates and meal times I feel that I have not been cheated the "living on campus" experience.
I am always encouraged by the new people I meet here, they all have aspirations and dreams, there are so many talented people in the world. I was reminded by my friend Cody, that God created each one of us with our own gifts and talents, we weren't shot out of some "people making machine" God took the time to give us individuality he personally made us. He probably doesn't know but it was uplifting to hear that, after a pretty rough couple of days.
It''s funny how the littlest things that happen can alter your perception of yourself, even when they are typical occurrences that noone should read into. I read into them and doubt my abilities and even worth.
Thank Goodness for a merciful God, a unique God who can work in ways that I can't even imagine. I am pretty excited to hear the messages that the speakers are going to bring this summer they are from Leviticus and it sounds like they are going to be relative to Christians and their role as servants and tools of God.

It feels like home to me

2005-06-01T12:50:00.000-05:00

"It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong."
WE arrived on Sunday afternoon, here at camp. It was everything I hoped it would be and more. Right away we set out to Riverside and on the way back ended up in some town far from camp, So we haven't quite mastered the way these highways run. If I get lost enough, soon I won't have any trouble finding anything.
I love how it's not hard to adapt to living here, I might be speaking too soon, but even last year I just fell into place, It was like second nature. It might have to do with the fact that there are a few familiar faces from back home, and the fact that I know this is temporary, and in few months I will be leaving.
I seem to be struggling in the area of patience and discernment, when it comes to even my closest friend, I hate that but for some reason, I am short, and haughty, which is never pretty on anyone. It's only on occasion but it is still hurtful. The funny thing is after a few of these episodes, I began reading C.S. Lewis "Mere Christianity" and the first chapter was on quarrells, and such, which I thought was absolutely what I needed to hear.
So this is just the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Here I go again on my own....

2005-05-28T04:34:00.000-05:00

going down the only road I've ever known...duhn duhn.
I am here Living Large in Las Vegas. I am staying with my friend Sara and her husband Chip. After twenty something hours on the road. I am excited to go see the Belagio water show! only a matter of days now and I will be on the Mountain in the ole module ready for whatever God gives me.
But unlike a twister I was not born to walk alone. (in reference to the song)
This trip I have my good friend Debbi who is also going to working at camp and Micah Oliver from BBC. I must say it's been fun, and crazy at the same time.
I drove in MO, then DEb took on Kansas, Micah went pretty much through Colorado and I took on the Rockies, can you say runaway truck,...or falling rock.
I was so stressed out I was trying to stay up with traffic so I am going like 80 in a 65 and the locals are driving around me with their hands in the air like what are you doing! So I was trying to stay the speed limit with out burning my brakes out on the way down the mountain. Not to mention the Mountain side was only a turn of the wheel away and we would be pulling a Thelma and Louise in midair. Plus I couldn't look around to see but I promise there was a Highway patrol every 5 miles. They were every where. Well I must get some sleep .

Loving God More

2005-05-16T23:26:00.000-05:00

Do you ever find yourself smiling for no aparent reason, and realize that you look like a crazy person?
I just wanted to share with everyone something my pastor said on Sunday that just sticks in my mind, and leaves a permagrin on my face.
The passage was in Matthew, speaking of Christ's yoke being easy. He expanded it to many parts of our lives, and how Christ wants to share the load of burdens and such, but we as humans often try to carry them on our own. He said "Living a life that is pleasing to God is hard, but it is infinitely harder to live life any other way."--John Marshall
That all hit home with me, but what I keep reminding myself is when he said, "In trials and hard times, we often wonder what God is trying to teach us, God might be trying to teach you something specific, but He is always, always, teaching us to love him more." That really brings light to alot that I have been going through and was exactly what my heart needed to hear this weekend.

Hoops, Loops, and Steps

2005-05-12T18:57:00.000-05:00

Have you ever wondered, "Why didn't anyone tell me this?"
I have been asking myself that alot lately, I won't bore you with every detail so for your sake I will only give one example. So I bought a new car, no big deal right, obviously I have to get a loan, ok, then I have to have insurance, understandable. Oh wait a minute the headlights don't work, that's ok it's probably the bulb, oh turns out it's the switch well, "well we have to order that." (two weeks later) my part's in! take the car there leave it, "Wrong part sorry:(" My title finally gets here! through the mail, (two weeks later) parts in, headlights work, Need state inspection, (12$) Now get it registered, Check list: 2 forms of i.d. proof of insurance, title, property tax receipt, inspection, and of course $. ( at the Motor vehicle bureau) the first sign says "Accept cash and Checks only" huh, I never really carry hundreds of dollars around. So I get an estimate, have to go to the ATM. (back at DMV) ohhh, you only have your father's tax receipt, yeahh we need yours," I have never owned property" I scream inside my head. Did I mention that it was about 92 degrees outside, at this point in the day, I have a "Church and Missions"final across town in an hour. So I found out that I have to go to the county courthouse to get a waiver stating I don't owe any money. Park go in the wrong building, walk a block down the street, go to basement, tell her information, go upstairs talk to a man who I have to convince that I have lived in Greene county the last two years, it was a close call I almost had to drive 30 min away, but that is the one step I got to skip. He signs my waiver, and I 'm off to another DMV. THere I wait in line for 40 minutes to give all my information and my $. So that I could legally own a 98 Toyota Camry.
Now I ask why didn't anyone tell me this would happen when I buy a car. I feel cheated, but I guess I need to get over it. Anyone who can relate with this is probably thinking, there are alot of other frustrating situations out there. So I just wanted to share this observation I have made about my life. I have yet to find a simple act, it seems everything takes at least 10 steps, and usually more.
I guess I need to get used to jumping through hoops, rolling with the loops, and taking the stairs in life. God is really starting to show me so many of my weaknesses, such as long suffering, but I am grateful.

Soon and very soon

2005-04-26T21:49:00.000-05:00

So I am going to graduate with my One Year Practical Church Ministries Degree this May. I really don't have to walk in the ceremony but this being my 4th year in college I thought I would commemorate it by graduatin from BBC. Oh,,Debbie Rocks my socks off.
I am ecstatic, about going out to California this Summer. Three weeks of school left....annnnd... stress beginsss......NOW! I have to start studying for my algebra final, considering that it is 25% of my grade. It's always at this point in the semester when I wish I could just drop everything I am doing and only study for my finals. Unfortunately I still have to be responsible and work, and stick to my commitments. uuucck adulthood.
Soo I went and saw Michael W. Smith last week, So maybe I cried I don't know. For real it was a good show I volunteered to work at the merchandise booth, selling T's and paraphinalia, So they let me in for free. Watermark, and Selah, were the opening groups.
It's so amazing how God knows exactly what I need to hear, and he tells me in just the right way. It's crazy but I keep coming into situations and conversations, that are all telling me to let go of my plans for myself, and just let God do it. Humbling as they all are, I find myself always needing someone else's help. In itself doesn't seem odd, but it has been happening alot, It's making me realize how independant I "think" I am, and coming to reality where I can do nothing on my own, God's little reminders that I am not running my life. Sometimes it doesn't matter how good my intentions are, some things just don't go the way I plan them, and being able to roll with it is a challenge. Swallowing my pride and accepting help is the only way to do it sometimes. There have several occasions where I come to a point where I can decide to keep going even when it looks hopeless or just give up and say there is no point in wasting my time. For example walking into class and feeling like an idiot because not only is my grade on the rocks but I failed to even realize that I have a 4 page report due and I haven't even thought about what the topic of the research paper would be. I could a. drop the class I don't really need it or b. go apologize to the professor and ask for an extension , which in nature I would choose a. It's the easiest to slip out and hope nobody even noticed my miserable attempt. Luckily I chose b. and added it to my list of things that were due, stayed up extremely late the next few days and it turned out alright I got an A on the paper and he even docked me for it being late. So it was a little lesson I learned,... that, and Math in general, as long as there is math in the world I will continue to be humbled.

In a Month

2005-04-20T19:00:00.000-05:00

It's been a whole month since my last confession. Man time flies and I've been meaning to update this thing. So here we go, I do this all the time in my journal I will try to remember all the important things that happen. They are never very good entries though because I don't have the details that make them quirky.
Easter was wonderful my sister and her husband, and they're baby Oliver came from ND. Oliver is 16 months and quite possible the most beautiful boy I have ever seen and I've seen many. I got a newer car, that is newer than my 95 mazda, upgraded to a 98 Toyota Camry. I took out my first loan, So I think I am officially an adult right.
Met some new friends at BBC, I like them.
My sister did move out and I miss her, it always seems like something is missing in the apartment, you know like another person.
I got an ipod whewew, so I am all of the sudden always trying to think of music that I want to get, I finally found a hobby of collecting Music.
I have decided I am not ready for love or a serious relationship, Well the that's what the quiz on "Bridget Jones Diary 2" told me. You know on all the extras it sometimes has a game to play so I went through to find my "perfect match", I answered it pretty honestly and at the end it actually said "Neither" I don't even get an answer. I couldn't believe it, even on a quiz I don't get a date. So we went through and answered all the opposite answers, and got set up with Hugh Grant. My sisters thought it was quite funny.
"Quick call the police" I heard as I ran outside my sister's apartment barefoot. It was a Calm Saturday night on the campus of BBC then suddenly all were disturbed by the smashing metal and screaching tires, followed by a long car horn. I looked out the window and an old car came flying down the small street in between the apartment buildings, It looked out of control and then we heard another smash. Then all three of us sisters fled outside my sister Shelby was the leader and immediately ran toward the car. There was so much commotion with a pretty large audience and smoke was everywhere I heard a popping sound. I jumped and yelled to Shelby " They have a gun , but she didn't seem to hear, my sister Nicole and I tried to get her back inside and I turned to run inside and came extremely close to nailing the metal pole directly behind me. It was really funny, ecspecially because there was never a gun, turns out I am the one who panics in a tight situation.
The driver took off running while 4-5 BBC STUDLY STUDENTS , tried to stop him , he slipped and they held him down until the cop got there. The car rerended a car causing a 3 car pile up on Kearney and kept going and hit 3 more on the side of the road at BBC. There were cops and Firetrucks every where It was crazy. There were some illegal substances involved and I think the car was stolen.
There you go. I know I have left some good things out of this blog, but this will be good for now.

Details, Thoughts, Feelings

2005-03-09T17:36:00.000-06:00

"I -feel -like Sushi tonight,--like Sushi tonight!"
This week is Alumni week at BBC, that means we don't have our reg. classes, we listen to wise words of some alumni of BBC. So no homework!! The catch is that I still have my Algebra class. We had a test over section 2 today, I feel very good about it, which is a 1st ever in a math class. I know I either did really good or really bad, because I actually finished every problem on the test, and I wasn't even the last one to finish, okay 3rd to the last but that is major improvement trust me. I have my brother in law Derrick to thank for this new found life in my math world. He is amazing he stayed up until 3 am with me until I understood everything. Thanks Bro.
"Kansas City, --Kansas City, Here I Come!!"
going to KC for the weekend w/my friends Erin and Wes, It will be a blast. Well I have to get ready for my Birthday Party, BBC is throwing me just a small get together at Incredible Pizza, it's a bigger version of Chucky Cheese. Anyway, pretty much the whole school is invited for free Pizza. Well they haven't really called it my Birthday Party officially they didn't want others to feel I was being favored, so they said it is in honor of Alumni Week, which is fine, I understand really.

TWENTY TWO

2005-03-04T17:47:00.000-06:00

That's right, I am going to be 22 on Wednesday March 9, it's hard to believe it. Life goes by so quickly, it makes me think of that scene in "Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind", when Clementine(Kate Winslet) says she can't stand the idea of wasting any moment we have in life. It's so true, we take for granted the time we are allowed.
My good friend Erin Sandoval is hanging out with me this weekend, it should be good times. We are going to a thrift store to shop!! It's my favorite place everything is a quarter and sometimes you can get a bagful for a quarter. I just found out that my sister who has been my roomate for the last 2 years is moving out this summer. It bums me out a little bit because I will miss her alot. At the same time I am proud of her for making a step towards independance. She has always been an independant woman, so I know she will do fine.
For anyone who was wondering, you can make a 2 year community college last 4 years. It's been done. I just got my degree audit from OTC, and I am still lacking a humanities class. So looks like I will be heading back to OTC next semester:) It is pretty frustrating, but I know God has a reason for everything.
Oh, this is exciting, I help out with the 3-4 year olds in Sunday School, and the 2 other teachers are going to be moving to North Carolina, (They are married) that's not the exciting part though, because I will miss them greatly. But this will give me an opportunity to lead the class. I am nervous, but this is a good opportunity for me.
My Pastor had a good message on Sunday, we are going through a financial series. I like it, -godly pointers on how to manage money. He said something that has really stuck with me this week, He said "our lives as Christians is not about accumulation, but about simplification." It hit me hard, because of course I like to accumulate, In America where marketing is a huge industry, it's hard not to want the newest, coolest, and latest. So this is something I am trying to work on. I went through my closet and I shed alot of stuff. I know I can do more but I guess it's going to be a process. I am really looking forward to simplifying my life.

2005-02-27T20:08:00.000-06:00

my bud Tylane

I LOVE SLEEP

2005-02-26T14:33:00.000-06:00

I love sleeping in on Saturdays. Looking at the pictures of Cali and all the snow makes me so jealous.
We haven't had flippin anything this winter. It's already Feb. practically Mar. and by now I am ready for spring so
hopefully we can just get some hot weather from here on out. I was reading about Heather's new job opportunity and I can't help but be envious that she has found something she loves to do:) But for real if you would pray about this opportunity in NY, my sis and her husband are going to be starting a church, like from scratch and I am invited to be part of the core group. I am currently a children's ministry major and I would love to do that. It seems like a no brainer, but that's exactly what I want, I want my heart to be in it completely, not because it's the logical thing to do. So if you would keep it in your prayers.
I am trying to make it through this semester, It seems to be creeping by probably because I have College Algebra this sem. I have decided attitude is everything because my true feelings are that math is obnoxious, but if I try to look at the bright side, I can usually find a weird satisfaction that I was able to finish my assignments. In my Children's Visuals class ( my fave), we are now learning, how to read stories, so that requires us to work on our inpersonations, it's so funny. That my homework is to say something like "I love Bannanas"in 20 diff. voices, you guys should try it. Say it in a growl, groan, grandfather, plead, happy, spanish, sigh, sheep, cowboy,stuffed nose, haughty. (just 1 at a time). It was an interesting class time I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
I just got my Ponderosa Pines letter in the mail yesterday, I am "ready, and super psyched". The new flier looks really good.

mmmk!

2005-02-21T20:25:00.000-06:00

So it only took like an hour to finish my profile, and I'm still not sure I even have a blogspot ( url)
I'll check it out. As you can tell I am highly trained in computers and how to apply them to real life.
I am off to do my Home Work at Barnes and Noble, it's pretty much the only place I can motivate myself to do HW.
It holds me accountable, noone will wonder why I am sitting at home doing absolutely nothing, but in public someone
might wonder if I was crazy, just sitting in the cafe of B&N, so I do my HW.

Ahh!

2005-02-21T19:16:00.000-06:00

This is the first ever blog I have done, Honestly I am nervous I mean anyone could read this.
So I really just wanted to create this so that I could comment on blogs.
My life isn't interesting enough to post it on the net.
So don't be surprised if I start making it up as I go.

Gosh I am taking forever to write this thing,
k well take care